Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Discouraged...Disappointed...knowing I've got to make a turn-

For such a time is this...teaching...Esther--Borrowed from Part 1 anewbeginning with Greg Laurie
Monday, July 07, 2008 listening to a teaching on Esther—prompted me to pray and ask…

08.07.08 Dear God-
I desire to know, and actually need to know what I have been placed here (this particular time and place in my life) for...you know like-I know the plans I have for you…Jeremiah 29:11. Because you have created and ordained our lives and everything about them for a purpose—your purpose. What am I here for right now, since I am (this is a reminder to me) not here for my purpose, but yours!

What purpose is there for this particular place in my life,—right now? I really don’t like where I am. Not that I am not thankful for it, but it is just a hard place and that has to be okay since you are in control. Speak to me I will ready myself as much as I can in you that is—I can do nothing apart from you).

Is it to pray and fast for my husband?? —I suppose without actually hearing, I feel it is. Everything it seems is turned upside down; our church, our marriage relationship, our finances, our relationships with others-some family, some not, our relationship with you. I am bitter, resentful (all the things you say to not be and I’m not proud of it, and actually very miserable in it) quite frankly a big part of me does NOT feel like addressing this, but I do feel that you are leading me to do so. That means I must, (because I need and want your peace) get my heart right and it is NOT right…right now, of course you already know this. I need your touch, your forgiveness and your mercy...AGAIN! I want to do what you lead me to do, but I must humble myself before you. Boy, we really pay for it when we wander off His path and neglect spending time in fellowship with Him. But, Glory to God you always lead me back and for that among many other things...I am Grateful!!

What does the Lord require…for me to walk justly and humbly with my God.
Help me God, in Jesus Name I pray.


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